I met a family … Loving & Caring & United & Understanding, or so it seemed … Until I came across a scene that made me want to write this post …
We have often heard of child abuse… mostly whenever someone brings up the topic, we feel it is probably about children being sexually abused, harassed, bullied, or perhaps child labor, or being verbally abused and offended… Even if you search online, it is more likely to be limited as:
Child abuse is the physical, sexual or emotional mistreatment or neglect of a child or children – Wikipedia
Not often, or rather in very rare cases do we ever think that perhaps there is another form of child abuse too? Or at least, I feel there is another form too … For me, using abusive words in conversation, calling names, etc can be a form of child abuse too… How? Well its simple … The way I understand it, any thing that can cause a child to suffer emotionally or psychologically in negative way is a form of child abuse… And so are abusive words… Sometimes parents, when talking to their children, even though they are talking about other people, use “bad” names for those people in front of their child… Sometimes, children, out of respect, don’t use the same words when talking about similar kind of people, in front of their parents… but somehow, it causes them to disrespect… Deep down, subconsciously the child stops respecting his/her parents, as he/she grows up… And later, as an adult… sometimes, only because of him/her having his conscious alive, he still respects the parent but not from heart, only for the sake of it… Yet… many kids, loose respect for everyone as they grow up, and start using those words habitually … Yet, parents scold them… Why? Because he/she is a kid? Adolescent perhaps? But when it didn’t stop you from avoiding the use of that language in their childhood, why do you stop them now?
Sometimes you teach them that it is okay to use abusive words as an adult but not as a child, making them seek adulthood just so that they can use the same words, but in reality they are using it already… sometimes, when you hurt them, they use the same words for you, perhaps not on your face, but surely behind your back… would you like to be called by names from your own child? I don’t think so… But yes, it is true… There are high chances for the child to use them behind your back, if not on face, only because you used them behind someone else’s back while you had a smile on your face in front of them… You taught them to be disrespectful. You filled their brain with crap… You polluted it… I believe there is enough pollution already the moment you step outside the home, movies, music, news, schools, society… Last thing you’d want is to be a source of pollution yourself… Stop abusing your own child’s brain… Stop filling it with crap… Stop being hypocritical…
I’m not a parent… And it’s probably a few years from now that I will be one InshA’llah… but still… I want to thank all parents for doing what they do… Thank you for showing me the negative side of parenting too, because the more i learn how even parents make mistakes and how negatively it effects the child, even though they claim otherwise, I have learned what kind of parent i don’t want to be… I don’t want to become the parent who is hypocritical by setting different rules for me and my child, especially when there is obviously no justified reason for it… I don’t want to be the parent who curses other people in front her of child just so that her child learns to curse others, and me… I’d rather spend my time being silent in front of my child instead of schooling them about all the bad words, the verbal hatred, and all that I hate hearing myself…
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