Finding that center of gravity


Humans, at the same time, play multiple characters at once. They hold multiple positions at the same time… You can be oppressed & yet be the oppressor at once. And for that reason, I have learned that perhaps life is all about finding that balance, that center of gravity within yourself so that all your roles, duties are balanced, and none is suffering because of the other… Yet, we get so carried away, or perhaps at times, intimidated by a certain character of ourselves that we don’t realize how much others are suffering, and sometimes the ones suffering were in fact the ones that needed to be treasured more…

Congratulations, you are born, with a wail of cry you enter the world, you haven’t even opened your eyes yet and still you are entitled of so many positions in life, so many relations awaited for you to own them.  You are born, and you are a son/daughter, a sister/brother, a believer/nonbeliever, a niece/nephew, a grandson/granddaughter, and so on.  You haven’t learn to say a word, and perhaps you are even entitled as an uncle/aunt or perhaps granduncle/grandaunt.  Then as you grow, you keep adding to your titles, you keep adding your social circle, and your responsibilities.  It never stops, and continues until you die.

Today, I finally felt motivated to write about it while talking to a dear one.  I loved the gesture they did; they acted and took care of the responsibilities that one of their titles brought along them, and yet, one of their other relation suffered and they seemed completely oblivious to it.  It made me respect and yet disrespect them, both at once and I realized that is the case with all of us.  It includes me, you, them…  everyone!

You are either a believer or you are not, and this means that you either have an additional responsibility or not.  If you are a believer, then along with the worldly relations, you have to satisfy your Creator too and if you are not, then perhaps just focus on worldly relations.

Being a Muslim, at least for me, it all revolves around my religion, each of them holds their significance and makes me fulfill my certain duties towards them.  And yet, at times it is not easy.  In order to satisfy one relation, I end up being unjust to the other.  But what I have learned is that Islam makes it easy to balance them by telling us the priorities, and once we start balancing according to that list, it becomes comparatively easier to balance them, if not 100%.

However, if you are not a believer, then perhaps you can be unjust to either while being perfect for one of them.  But then, I have realized that eventually it makes you suffer more than the relation or the person on the other hand.  Because try as we might, we can never live with just one relation in world.  Even being an introvert makes you crave for relations, perhaps limited ones.

I don’t have any solution, but I do know that in order to have harmony in life, one does need to learn to balance relations.  Just because you got married, doesn’t mean your spouse is the only one who deserves your 100% dedication, and while it does to an extent, still it shouldn’t be on the expense of your duties towards your parents.  Or just because you are now blessed with a child, doesn’t mean you overlook your duties to your spouse.  And while you are balancing them all, doesn’t mean you completely ignore the friend who helped you through the ups and downs of life.  And while you are balancing them, don’t at all forget yourself, and your Creator (if you are a believer).

In the end, best of luck finding that balance, that harmony!  Because I still am trying to balance it all.

Peace!

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Missing words… fading into silence…


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Need I say more?  For past few months I have realized something about me … or life … don’t know … either way, I have realized that there comes a time in life where you realize that being silent is better than speaking out your mind… Though, I know that being me, I will end up speaking my mind anyway, even if it means blogging or posting on a social networking site… but I have learned… That when it comes to relations, one has to bend down… one has to chose to be silent unwillingly, accept other’s point of view… not because they are right… but because truth is bitter and not everyone can digest it … The only place you can speak your mind is where you know that other person will listen to you without getting hyper, where they will understand your point even if you run out of exact words… That’s what is important in relations… and that’s what you expect from relations… And when, the relations you expect to understand your missing words, they start to misunderstand you and judge you, all you can do is just chose silence… because you value the relation more than your ego or pride or truth … sometimes that relation needs to be saved, and if silence is what saves it then be it … Ever since I remember, I have imagined myself to have a loving, understanding partner who trusts and understands my missing words… My imaginary friend, my conscience that helps me be strong, taking a human form with whom I will spend the last days of my life … I don’t know if it will ever come true … just an imagination… but yet I always felt that no matter how much I imagine that, I will end up being silent, still seeking comfort with my imaginary friend when the world misunderstands me … But keeping my hope alive, I went on …. until… I realized… that over past few months, I have actually chosen to be silent… I’ve avoided discussions, arguments which can get intense and hyper and furious at the same time … Avoided confrontations as such… And now I don’t really know … What will future bring?  Will I spend the rest of time silencing myself, my views, or try to talk my heart out, even if I miss out the words that explain, and let Allah help my significant other understand those missing words?

Yes, I know … I miss words… badly… even more when I am talking rather than typing in a blogpost… But what can I do?  It took me two years to learn to talk, and it has taken me all this time to try to explain myself, my point of view, such that others understand it exactly and not misunderstand it…  At this point… nearly almost close to 30s, will I learn to explain or let silence, this negative thought to just become indifferent, take over me?  I don’t know … Life is too long to find out and yet too short to really bother… And yet, each time I feel this pain of being misunderstood and misheard, I seek prayer… knowing that… in my life, there is one… the Only Hope… My Lord… My Allah… My Best Friend… who will listen to me… understand me… who will see the meaning and point I have rather than the words I utter … The Only One who understands my silence, gives me faith and hope, makes me strong and bes there for me and lets me know that I’m loved in His special, unique way … So maybe… with passage of time… I might get old, I might become indifferent to the world… I might fade into silence for world… but for Him, I’ll always speak in weird confusing language, close my eyes and speak to Him… knowing that, He sees me… and smiles… And if its me dying silent when I’m old… Let it be … because for until then, now and always I have Him with me!

We all have something to say


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If you think among your group of friends, you’re the only one with pens and diaries or blogs (in this techno life) and not to forget, feelings and some intellectual lessons of life that you would share so that someone may read and find you interesting, then you’re wrong…

Truth is, we all have something to say… We all have our lessons of life to share… We all have that philosophical approach that we may never show in front of others but only in our solitude and in times of great focus, we come across them… Some of us don’t even know we hold them…

Every person is a hero in his own little bubble and yet a villain for those who see them from the outside… No matter how high and pious and victim we may feel within ourselves, in our thoughts, for someone out there, we are selfish and mean…

And then… one of the people you thought would just be a fun-loving, carefree, selfish person … you come across their blog or diary or just get to peek inside their bubble and you realize that they are so much like you … We all are victims of life … we’ve all been blessed… we’ve all been hurt… we’ve all been used… we’ve all been trusted and betrayed… cared for and deceived… We are who we are because of the experiences we witnessed… Alone or together… Now or never… It’s just a matter of time… you’ll know how good or bad someone is, what they truly are if you listen to them.. not when they are speaking out in public or in parties or in groups or commenting on shows and music and books or politics… but rather when they are sitting alone, staring at the sky… Catch them in their solitude, in their bubble… and you’ll see their true face… You’ll hear what they have to say and you’ll realize they are not as dumb as they may appear and perhaps have a very important lesson of life to share… Their insight in life can be your key to success…

Just take your time… do it… don’t judge if you don’t want someone to judge you… don’t comment on other’s life when you feel bad when other’s comment on you without knowing what you’re going through… don’t insult someone for their wrong decisions when you wouldn’t prefer someone doing the same to you… Don’t let silence and talking about each other eliminate the chances you get to understand each other… We all have something to say, sit, share, hear, and then analyze… Focus on what’s inside someone’s mind & heart rather than what circumstances and scenarios portray otherwise…

Smiling through the pain :)


broken-heart-hand-holdThere are times in life when heart succumbs to what mind has to offer – it accepts reality and steps out of the world of hope & “fantasy” & “dream” … yet deep inside it keeps a hope alive, its so secret that not even heart knows of it unless something happens against that hope & then mind just smiles at the innocence of the heart …

….contd

 

 

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