Just Being Me

I’m weak on the outside yet strong within,
I am no saint and my life is full of sins..
My friends think I’m perfect, and they think I’m fine ..
But still mortal friendship is something I can’t call mine..
People think I’m crazy, they think that I’m dumb..
And yet they fail to hurt me coz from inside I’m numb..
I hate these tears, I hate when my friend cries..
I hate when people cheat, worse b/c of their lies..
Life is for me a mystery, to solve I always wait for another day..
Coz maybe that’s only thing I can do to solve it, coz there’s no other way..
Not many have time for me, they all have somewhere to go..
And what I’ve been going through, they don’t want to know..
And Sometimes I feel I’m ok being with them, this way ..
Coz I’m sure I will get bored, if I had to live without them evn for a day..
I like to smile all the time, be it joy or sorrow ..
But still I wish I cud just be me, maybe not today but tomorrow..
And so I like to rhyme and at time i don’t even know what to write…
Esp. when all these thoughts in my head are always up for a fight..
And no matter how many times when fighting with nafs, I just wished to rather die
But then I realize life is a blessing, and the victory of heaven is worth giving a try …
October 2nd’2007
– Ramsha Jalil

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