Humans, at the same time, play multiple characters at once. They hold multiple positions at the same time… You can be oppressed & yet be the oppressor at once. And for that reason, I have learned that perhaps life is all about finding that balance, that center of gravity within yourself so that all your roles, duties are balanced, and none is suffering because of the other… Yet, we get so carried away, or perhaps at times, intimidated by a certain character of ourselves that we don’t realize how much others are suffering, and sometimes the ones suffering were in fact the ones that needed to be treasured more…
Congratulations, you are born, with a wail of cry you enter the world, you haven’t even opened your eyes yet and still you are entitled of so many positions in life, so many relations awaited for you to own them. You are born, and you are a son/daughter, a sister/brother, a believer/nonbeliever, a niece/nephew, a grandson/granddaughter, and so on. You haven’t learn to say a word, and perhaps you are even entitled as an uncle/aunt or perhaps granduncle/grandaunt. Then as you grow, you keep adding to your titles, you keep adding your social circle, and your responsibilities. It never stops, and continues until you die.
Today, I finally felt motivated to write about it while talking to a dear one. I loved the gesture they did; they acted and took care of the responsibilities that one of their titles brought along them, and yet, one of their other relation suffered and they seemed completely oblivious to it. It made me respect and yet disrespect them, both at once and I realized that is the case with all of us. It includes me, you, them… everyone!
You are either a believer or you are not, and this means that you either have an additional responsibility or not. If you are a believer, then along with the worldly relations, you have to satisfy your Creator too and if you are not, then perhaps just focus on worldly relations.
Being a Muslim, at least for me, it all revolves around my religion, each of them holds their significance and makes me fulfill my certain duties towards them. And yet, at times it is not easy. In order to satisfy one relation, I end up being unjust to the other. But what I have learned is that Islam makes it easy to balance them by telling us the priorities, and once we start balancing according to that list, it becomes comparatively easier to balance them, if not 100%.
However, if you are not a believer, then perhaps you can be unjust to either while being perfect for one of them. But then, I have realized that eventually it makes you suffer more than the relation or the person on the other hand. Because try as we might, we can never live with just one relation in world. Even being an introvert makes you crave for relations, perhaps limited ones.
I don’t have any solution, but I do know that in order to have harmony in life, one does need to learn to balance relations. Just because you got married, doesn’t mean your spouse is the only one who deserves your 100% dedication, and while it does to an extent, still it shouldn’t be on the expense of your duties towards your parents. Or just because you are now blessed with a child, doesn’t mean you overlook your duties to your spouse. And while you are balancing them all, doesn’t mean you completely ignore the friend who helped you through the ups and downs of life. And while you are balancing them, don’t at all forget yourself, and your Creator (if you are a believer).
In the end, best of luck finding that balance, that harmony! Because I still am trying to balance it all.