I don’t feel sorry for Palestinians


While we feel sorry for the #Palestinians, I don’t…. I simply feel they are lucky… the women, the children, the old & the young alongside men… All dying for sake of Allah… each giving their life in jihad… each chanting Allah.o.Akbar…

We “Muslim” ummah, an Ummah of billions of Muslims, feel sorry for them… make protests… make duas… do charity… but yet at the end of the day it is only a small fraction of Muslims who sincerely feel the ache n the pain… while these Palestinians die, we talk about our eid preps, talking about how outclass it should be, which brand name or designer wear should we opt for…

Yes… when Allah has blessed us with money and happiness, we should embrace it… but all I can recall is that a Muslim to Muslim is like a brother, all Muslims are like a body where if one part hurts, the other parts also feel it…
Then what kind of Muslim ummah are we??

Are we so lost in worldly pleasures that we feel our only duty is to pay certain amount of donation, attend a protest, & if we see it on TV then just say a few apologetic words and that’s it… is that really it???

Yes, I am guilty too… and it is b/c of that very reason that I respect #Palestinians… they dont die… they are martyrs who are dying solely for the sake of Allah… who die defending themselves while chanting Allah.o.Akbar…

And not just in #Palestine, but all Muslims… in #Syria, #Kashmir, #Myanmar all around the globe where Muslims are killed on a day.to.day basis… for they live the life of lions while we live life of cowards… and that’s a bitter truth…

We follow the manmade laws with so much dedication & yet we break the laws of our Creator… we worry so much of what people will say but we dont pay heed to what Allah will say… worse, we don’t even feel guilty… so what is it… what is it that still assures these Muslims that despite breaking Allah’s laws, living our life totally in worldly way, we will still be forgiven???

At least for me… I am not sure…
But for Muslims being killed and oppressed just for being Muslims, I am sure they will enter Jannah without any questions…

— Posted on the go from WordPress for Android

Missing simple things in life


And then she picked up her laptop and decided to write what she was feeling…

So it is my first official blog post of sharing my feelings and views ever since I got married?  Of course the Maleficient one is just a movie review so that doesn’t really count, unless it does.  Never mind… I have been willing to write for quite a time now and sometimes I even did but that was mostly in my head.  So what is it motivated me to grab my laptop and write now?  The answer is simple… Missing family, have too much of time to myself… and most importantly wanting to share with someone but yet not knowing with whom should I share it with?

Alhumdulillah all went well, got married, moved to UK, and now enjoying the blessed month, Ramadan Kareem.  And yet here I am feeling empty.  I know, a lot of you might suggest to pray, read Quran, check online tutorials for learning something, increase my knowledge, etc but truth is, for a person like me, sometimes even that is not enough, and sometimes I don’t even feel motivated to do that.  Being a person who is easily bored, and who has lived most of her life with her choices, her decisions, compliments and encouragement, all of a sudden the life is just not the same.

I live with really nice family, my mother in law even prepares the whole iftar and food for sehri and all I have to do is either set the table or sometimes not even that and just have to clean it after Iftari, wash the dishes, and that’s it.  Yes, sometimes put clothes in laundry, ironing, or dusting the house while my brother in law would vacuum it… So now, one may ask, with such an easily life why am I still not content?  Actually, Alhumdulillah I am content but I guess just missing the feeling that I used to have back in home…  I cannot define it… I don’t even know what it is or how to get it back… But I still miss it… I pray to Allah and ask HIM to help me out and perhaps HE is helping me, it is just me who is unable to see how…

Sometimes I wonder if it is missing the whole energetic enthusiasm of Ramadan in our home where we would divide chores, sometimes fight, either of us will either have a request or where I will try a new recipe on either daily or sometimes weekly basis and then have the critics and compliments… Or whether it was not liking Mum’s made dahi baray but asking Dad to bring ‘em and then he would bring meethay dahi baray and fish pakoray and laung chiray… And we would all be wondering would it be left for us later or not… That sitting late at night with mum and bhai and making samosays and then picking up whether it would be chicken or qeema, but definitely an aalo samosa in the menu… That keeping a whole bottle of tang for myself and teasing mum that she can’t have as they have their Rooh Afza so Tang is just for me… That whispering to dad or bhai to ask either of the other two to make post-iftar tea…

Yes, life was a bit complicated then… sometimes even annoying… but with simple, nothing-much-to-do here life, I miss the feeling of happiness… the little moments of joy that I received when dad bought something for me at iftari, or when me and bhai would divide chores and while I made fruit chaat and juice, he would fry samosas and pakoras, and mum’s cholay with imli ki chatni…. Not to forget, sharing same taste…  Sometimes even having arguments pre or post sehri or complaining how only one has to do the cleaning… Sometimes bhai or me, or ammi washing the dishes and sorting the leftovers to be kept in fridge….

That making bhai take me for at least a day’s shopping when I would need to buy jootis or chooriyan…

Yes… Life is better in many ways… Alhumdulillah… blessed…. but with all great things, I am missing the simple things more… Whether it be Mum’s chholay & samosay, bhai’s pampering, dad’s bringing home dahi baray, fish pakoray, & laung chiray, or making the elder twos make tea, or perhaps trying new recipes and acting like a cook for my blog or instagram… I miss it all… all that we take for granted… miss it more… daily… everyday…

Is this love?


Just sharing a piece I read somewhere… Felt interesting… even making me wonder what love is…

Why can’t you give a simple answer?” “Why do you have to reply everything with prolonged sentences and counter questions?” “If he asked you if you want to go, you could’ve simply replied by saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’, why did you have to say, ‘I’ll go if you take me else I won’t?’… is he suppose to dress you up and then carry you there?” He said it in one go while she stared at the sky, trying to digest every word coming out of her cellphone’s speaker, not believing what she was hearing… Then, when he paused, she replied with trembling voice, trying to stay as strong as she could and said, “He asked me if I want to go, and I asked where? But instead of telling me, he just said nowhere and left.  Before pointing me out, please make sure he was right too.  But I guess you are right, the fault is mine.  I’m sorry I called at this hour for your help. Take care. Bye.”  And in one go she said it and hung up, not waiting to hear another word.  She had heard enough.  It wasn’t the first time, and now she was sure it won’t be the last time either.  Five months for her, were enough to know that it isn’t something that just happened, it was something that is going to continue happening.   When will it stop?  She didn’t know.  But what she did know was that, it was about time she accepted that no matter what the situation is, she will always be considered as the one who argues, who gives counter questions & replies, who has baseless logics, who doesn’t know anything at all, and most of all someone who will always be wrong.She wiped her tears, filled out her form, and kept wondering why had she made the call?  She could’ve filled form on her own too.  Why does she give him so much importance when he treats her like she is nothing?  And as these thoughts crossed her mind, her cellphone ringed.  There were messages from him reading “I still love you,” “hugs,” “kisses,” “sweetheart,” and all the likes.  She stared at them, not sure what to reply back.  Does she still love him?  Of course, because she knew herself well enough that the moment he enters the house, she will reply to him same way, if he smiles at her, she will forget everything and love him even more with all her heart.  She tried to ignore but her heart didn’t let her, so she picked up her phone and replied back “…love u too…” but still she stared, trying to understand his love.  Is this love?  Is it all about saying those romantic things in isolation but yet treating completing opposite when in front of others?  Not caring about her feelings.  Has he forgotten that he, being her husband, is supposed to take care of her, protect her, love her, care about her?  Never understanding is one thing but not even trying to understand her? Without knowing whole story, just declaring her wrong? Not once or twice but always? treating her like a fly?

Is that what love is????

— Posted on the go from WordPress for Android

Maleficent


So after being in London, UK, finally I got to go to a cinema… after finding out the ticket prices, I was not sure I still wanted to watch Disney’s Maleficent… but we did… and then I kept hoping that all the expense is worth it… because to be honest, after considering the remakes of fairytales with twists in them, I felt Maleficent would be just another remake with same ending but just a bit more drama and action…

Maleficent_live_action

But after watching the movie… if I am now asked what my favorite fairytale movie is, then I would say that , Disney’s Maleficent has to be the best one ever! … Reason?  It has finally broken the concept of “True Love”… Finally it has shown that True Love is NOT JUST LOVE OF TWO YOUNG PEOPLE who end up getting married and live happily ever after, but rather just genuine affection that one has for other person, and it could be in any form for anyone… In my opinion it’s a 10/10 movie that is worth watching … Though I don’t understand why you’d need to watch it in 3D, but nevertheless… The movie is worth watching whether you want to watch it in any dimension!

The story has shown that even the best can be turned into evil, only when they are betrayed by someone they trust a lot, and when that happens, sometimes they can give in to their evil side, but even then there is room for redemption…

So go ahead … and watch it, esp. if you are the kind of person who looks for meaningful things and not just entire waste of time… it is a movie with a  lesson that you definitely want your kids to understand and learn!

Silent screams…


image

In this cold dark night, under a sky full of stars…
I see the moon missing, wondering where you are..
Wanting to close my eyes, afraid these tears might fall,
I concentrate in this silence, wondering if you called…
But the silence takes over with a quiet scream…
And all this reality of us, feels like a scary dream…
Because you say you’re with me, you tell me that you care…
And still I’m alone in this dark night, I can’t even feel you near…
Going crazy with these thoughts, I think of all the times we had,
Only to know the times you made me happy are far less than when you made me sad….
Still with an aching heart, I let you in again…
Hoping that it’ll be different, that I’ll have a happy end…

– Yumna Jalil Yahya …

Writing a poem after longest time… Wondering if I can still rhyme!!!

Posted from WordPress for Android

Where do I belong?


It would seem rather a stupid question to ask… from strangers… or known…  but still, asking… Where do I belong?  … It seems like most of my views are those that fit in with history but not current situations… Though, almost 28… I’m still too young to be part of quite old history and yet, growing up with all these people from my generation and well slightly older than me, I still fail to agree with them on where it counts the most… Esp. when it comes to live life the better way, the solutions of problems… I’m born in a Muslim family, Alhumdulillah… live in a Muslim neighborhood, went to schools, can’t say Muslim as it doesn’t characterize, I mean is the subject of Islamiat enough to call it a Muslim school?  Lets be realistic, even convent schools in Pakistan teach Islamiat… So moving on, I’m surrounded by 99.5% Muslims in my day-to-day life… Yet, sometimes I feel that either I’m wrong or everyone else is…

Not intending to offend anyone… but honestly … after reading something from someone I thought would have similar views as me, I just felt a bit of shock… And so, here I am… wondering where I belong… You see, there are cases where people don’t follow the basic Islamic laws… I don’t too… Yes, I don’t follow them 100%… But I don’t pull someone back from following it, or if they have an opinion that is based completely on Islamic point of view, then I appreciate it and pray that Allah guides me to follow it too… Whereas, when it comes to me, I mostly get an opposing reaction and that too from almost everyone who comes to know about it… There first reaction is:  “Why don’t you abstain from other things as well?” … Where “other things” are the things that are done by me and them as well and it happens when I decide to abstain from something that I haven’t done and intend not to do either but is something that they are doing … and hence when they find out my views, they oppose me… Honestly, why?

Why can’t we appreciate it when someone is taking the right step and encourage them instead of pulling them back?  making them feel isolated and make them feel like they are doing a crime by doing the right thing?  Why is it so hard?  Why… Why… Why… and so many other whys…

I feel like being stuck…stuck among people who talk about Islam but don’t follow it… and who pull back those who try to follow it… And then I feel like I’m someone from another time… Like I don’t belong here… Like something is wrong with me… and more with my heart and mind who don’t digest what people around me say… that my heart keeps feeling guilty until I end up doing the right thing… it must be on the wrong side… or I must be wrong… And perhaps I am… For in today’s time, being right is wrong… being enslaved to Creator is wrong… That’s what this society teaches me… the people, the “well-wishers” … And it feels like I will be walking this path alone … all the way… as long as HE is in my heart… I mean… the fact that I have managed to take all the hateful tone in comments of people I care about, just because I refuse to do something “worldly” … I guess it’s a proof… I must be right… that’s why I’m content?  Or I believe too much in the hereafter that the pain here seems to become because of the thought of doing right for sake of hereafter? … Either way… Being the sinner I was, and to an extent still am… I’ll simply quote the song “Numb” by “Linkin Park” … or maybe end by completely like “Unforgiven” by Metallica… b/c that’s exactly how I feel when it gets too much…  followed by “What do I have but negativity ’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me”  – Somewhere I belong – Linkin Park …. Yes, I’m a sinner… I have listened to songs… and I still do… And you’ll say that Songs are haram too… Yes I know… And that is the reason that since I can no longer erase my memory, these lyrics have stayed in my mind… But I try to avoid as much as I can… Do you????

You’re only allowed to judge me 100% when you yourself are 100% pious and know me 100%… If either if these two qualities are less than 100%, then my dear friend, you should be praying to Allah to show us the right path instead of accusing me just because you’re corrupt yourself…

Deciding the already decided


Some decisions are hard to make… Not because they are hard, but simply because of the society we live in… The people we are meant to live with… They make it harder because of two reasons (I suppose)…. 1) because they aren’t strong enough to stand against the society or 2) because they too are like them (the society) …

So what should one do?  Listen to people or listen to the Creator? … Of course, listen to the Creator, end of discussion… I wish it was… Instead… It is the very reason to make it harder… Because unfortunately the society we live in….or at least one I live in and come across to… It only makes it harder… The moment you step up to do something for HIS sake, something that isn’t exactly in favour or pleasing to society, they start pointing you out your dozen other wrong deeds… They don’t encourage you to take this right step and keep taking more, INSTEAD, they pull you down… Remind you of all wrong steps you took etc…

Yes, I live in this Non-Islamic “Muslim” society…. Unfortunately… Or maybe fortunately, Allah knows better…  But here’s a request, if you truly fear Allah, your Creator… Then please don’t pull down someone who is trying to take a right step, just because you walk on the wrong path… Be true Muslim… Say MashA’llah and pray to Allah that HE helps him/her, and you, and this society in walking on the right path too…

As for me… Though for now I’m one against more like 99% of all females I know… Still, I intend to keep my decision… No shaping of eyebrows… Alhumdulillah mine don’t need… And yet people tell me that I should, esp when it will be the time of my marriage… And I don’t understand why? … Just because the media and makeup artists say it is important?? How???
Ok, I will if they promise to take responsibility and agree to be punished in hell because of it!!! Will they?? Nop… So why should I care??

& as I always have believed in Allah helping me through… Likewise it happened now… Almost at edge of changing my decision, unwillingly… I opened Twitter, though I hadn’t opened it in longest time… And there on my TL was this quote:

Never change who you are just because you’re afraid of losing them. If they really love you, your imperfections won’t matter.

Shukar Alhumdulillah… Yes, I’m a sinner not a saint… but I have no intention of increasing the load of my sins just because “some” people are influenced by “media” and their “definition of beauty”….
And the fact that I ended up seeing that quote is a proof that HE is happy with my decision too & wants me to stick to it InshA’llah :)

Posted from WordPress for Android